“All art is quite useless.” – Oscar Wilde
Oodles of people do this thing where they turn into something they’re not in front of people they want to make an impression on all the time. I see this as a sort of their only moment for their artistic juices to flow out. The only time these people can call themselves creative is when they long for the attention they can’t get by being themselves, thus, their innovativeness in creating a totally different character—one that they deem apt to the environment they want to fit into. I, however, can set myself apart from people who find it easy to take the shape of whatever shape like any fluid substance. I deviate and don’t really find pleasure in doing what everyone chooses to do. That’s how I characterize myself when I’m in a particular social context.
I have this habit on taking a non- conformist role in every gathering that I go to, especially in formal events where attire has strict parameters. I choose to show up in jeans and sweats in events that require silk, taffeta or satin fabrics and I’d show up in layers of chiffon for those events that require dressed- down outfits. I like being the odd one out; the outcast and the weird girl. The weird girl with a very unique disposition, although inappropriate, but one who likes declaring to the world how not normal she’d want to be. You can call me a rebel, I don’t actually care. That’s the beauty in going against the norm—I don’t stress myself over thinking of how people perceive me to be or how people want to judge or, more appropriately, misjudge me. As much as most people don’t like the image or the presence of an imminent difference, I like the constant weird looks and attention… Or the lack of attention, rather. For me, this is my own kind of art that I make of myself. I’m much of an artist as those people who create a faux façades of themselves in order to make them seem different. As much as I really don’t like the idea of sharing the same identity as those people who try so hard, I have to.
Why? That’s because I AM them. I AM those people who try hard. What I just did in the previous paragraph was exactly what I first described about people making it seem like they’re different. I put on this image of divergence from norms and made it look like my own personality when in truth, it really isn’t. This is how I deal with certain situations. It doesn’t sound really good but that’s what I, sadly, do in the midst of different people in different environments. I guess it’s safe to say that I don’t have a real personality when it comes to other people. I shift, bend and shape like water and I make myself this useless work of art. I’m uselessly interesting that way. :)
